Monday, March 19, 2012

I Never Told You

"I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything
About you
I can't believe I still want you"

Dear You,

As you can tell by the song... I pretty much miss everything about you. As I sit and reminisce about the time we spent together I can't help but smile and feel sad at the same time. For the first time in a long time you gave me something different. You gave me fun and attention and compliments and everything that I was looking for at the time. It's sad that things didn't work out between us and recently I have been reflecting and I just felt like I needed to tell you that I'm sorry.

I'm ready to take responsibility for my part in this. I realize I let too much from the outside influence my behavior and my thoughts about us. I'm sorry that I allowed my fears to trigger your fears and insecurities. I'm sorry that I tried to psychoanalyze everything about you instead of just allowing myself to fall. I feel like instead of me just being completely and authentically me I was so worried about how that would be received so I felt like I needed to be constantly on the offense so that I didn't end up hurt. I just wish I could have had more courage. Courage to just be and confidence to not allow so many things sway me away from what I wanted in my heart.
I'm sorry that you didn't have the best of me. I have some more things I need to work on...

Even in this short amount of time you taught me so much about myself. You taught me that I can be very guarded. You also showed me that I enjoy being swept away and fawned over. I enjoyed being the center of your attention. I miss that. I miss you.... the way we used to laugh, the way we used to be us...

Now that things are over I wish you the best... I hope that you will never forget our time together and I want you to know that you will always hold a special place in my heart for all of these things...


Until the next song plays...

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