Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Flaws and All

"I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
Catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you"
-Beyonce "Flaws and All"

Acceptance is hard. It is very hard to truly accept someone or something. So hard in fact that we have all but given up on the concept in certain cases and created the idea of tolerance to replace it. We as human beings have such a hard time truly accepting people, ideas, values, and concepts completely and would rather choose to tolerate them because of their imperfections. Because they, as much as we may be drawn to them or want them or even need them, may rub us the wrong way or present us with something that we don't like and by accepting them we accept these things as well. So I pose the question why? Why is it so hard to accept something that is imperfect? Why is it hard to give grace and allow for imperfection?
I once had a conversation with a friend of mine about loving and knowing one's self. I told her that I think those concepts go hand in hand. To love one's self without exception and to understand and be content in your own imperfections to me is truly loving yourself. Sure it's easy to say I would love me but not until I lose ten pounds, start making a seven figure salary, marry the man of my dreams, and star in my own sitcom. I realize the sarcastic tone but the point I'm making is that some of us go through life waiting for something to help us love ourselves. The truth of the matter is that just as we have our friends and family and aquantainces around us and we recognize their flaws and accept them into our lives, it is paramount that we do the same for ourselves. And just as I love and respect my mother but realize that she is quite critical of me I don't wait until she stops crticizing to love her I just take the good things she says and let the bad ones roll off my back. So should we give this grace inwardly and recognize the beauty of our own humanity.

Accepting yourself flaws and all does not excuse your flaws, nor does it put you in a place to forget about them and never strive to do or be better. It simply allows you to not become so consumed in your flaws that you never have the time or courage to recognize your strengths, and the positive things about you. It all comes back to the basics. You gotta love you! And not just for you but for the world. We all have something special to offer this world we live in and if we cannot first conquer the task of recognizing that, then we can never fully be the person that love wants us to be. Our ultimate task in this life is to grow in love and that growth must start on a personal level. To know yourself and know your flaws and accept them, not tolerate but truly accept them is freedom. So accept yourself, get to know yourself, and love yourself... Flaws and all.

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Monday, December 29, 2008

Time of Your Life

"Another turning point a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life"
-Green Day "Time of Your Life"

Ringing in the New Year has always been a metaphor for leaving old things behind and starting anew with a clean slate. Every New Year comes in chock full of resolutions, diets, promises, all things that we try to put in place to make a fresh start. But can you ever really start over? I mean how many of those resolutions are forgotten by the end of January? And how many of us that started out with a diet plan on January 1 actually notice that by March we've gained a few? Starting fresh always sounds good but it has to be more than just words. Starting fresh is also incomplete without understanding, coming to grips with, and learning from those old things that we are trying to either purge or overcome. Life has been crazy this 2008. And for the latter part of this crazy year I have focused alot on those things I need to purge. I have been so caught up in all the bad, horrible, unthinkable pain I've experienced that I haven't much looked at the "why" and "how" and most importantly "what now" of it all. What I'm saying is I don't want to get so caught up in making sure that the bad doesn't happen again that I forget to realize that not only bad things have happened. Also I want to live in the victory of overcoming and the gratitude that had it not been for those things those failed relationships, moments of low self-esteem, periods of doubt and depression, and my insaliable thirst for something new and different and better, I might never have even had the strength, desire or courage to start anew.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. Not in the sense that we have a predetermined map of life laid out before us, or that a deity is ordering us to go about life in a certain manner but I believe that everything we do, everything that we are yields us to something else. For instance those of us that value love will find ourselves in situations where we are growing in love and constantly defining and redefining what we believe love to be and do. These moments in our life that teach us lessons and mold us continually into the newer versions of ourselves are not happenstance. We do not have relationships not to learn from them, nor do we experience joy or pain not to build something from it. I've said it before we all have the same 24 hours in our day. So funny that the time is spent so differently depending on the who. I want to strive to be a person that makes the most of the 24 I have each day. I also want to be thankful for each moment of that time I spend whether it be good or bad. It's living. It's growing. For me; I also want it to be loving. Loving my accomplishments, loving my failures, loving my... self. For all that I am and hope to be, for the strengths that I am sharpening and all of the weaknesses that remind me of my humanity. See I don't want to be a person that only has comfort in my abilities and can only be consoled by what I see are the "good" things about me. It's all me. Time and Love are teaching me to be patient and secure in me. So this New Year's of course there are some things that I want to do in 2009 that maybe I didn't get to do in 08. But for the first time I'm not looking for a clean slate. A clear mind will be enough for me. 2009 is gonna be the time of my life.

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Grown-Up Christmas List

"No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list"
- Linda Thompson "Grown-Up Christmas List"

All I want for Christmas.... Hmm... I wish I was young again. Well young enough that people cared what I wanted for Christmas. I mean I know I'm 23 now and the idea of Santa Claus and his benevolence is not exactly age appropriate for me but it never fails. Every Christmas I still make a list. This year I got an early Christmas present. November 4th marked the dawning of a new era in my country. The election of Barack Hussein Obama was a gift that I had secrectly been wanting for years but never really fathomed that it would come. That was surely a Christmas miracle! Even still I have more things that I would like. Some of my requests are purely selfish, like I would love for Santa to leave me a diamond or two. But most of the things on my grownup wish list are things that I would change if I could. For instance I would love to give my son a world in which he doesn't have to wait hundreds of years to see a president that is brown like him. A world in which he could turn on the television and see positive images of brown, yellow, white, red, gay, straight, male, female people. I would love to wake up Christmas morning and be greeted by a society that isn't ruled by the idea that their must be haves and have-nots. A society in which I count just as much as you and we are seen as our assets and how those assets can better the community in which we live. Christmas would be so special if I could just erase one pain from a hurting continent, or aleviate one depression from a nation in turmoil. These are the things I wish for but I'm not naive enough to think that when I go down stairs on December 25th and look under my tree that the cure for AIDS, or the answer to reversing the Greenhouse Effect will be waiting to be unwrapped. The hope that I have however is that I'm not the only grown-up that has these things on my list. I truly believe that if the rest of those people out in the world that are as passionate as I am about making their world better so that one day they can give it to their children better than it was given to them; if we all just make it our business to continue wanting these things, continue fighting for these things... One day maybe not a Christmas day but one day we can unwrap a world that would be the best present ever. We've got a lot of work to do...

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say
- John Mayer "Say"
I've always been told that I have a big mouth. I was raised by very strong minded, strong willed, quick tongued black women that taught me the importance of expressing myself. So I grew up to be a lot like these women. In essence I talk too much. So knowing this and being in a state of constantly wanting to make me a better me, I am attempting to be more intentional about not only what I say but also how and when I say those things. See I realize that in many cases in the past my mouth as my grandma would say got me into a lot of trouble. I also understand that knowing what to say when is a sign of maturity and can take you a long way in life. Because verbal communication is so important in our society it is necessary to not only concern yourself with the way you speak but also how you are spoken to.
My current dilema is this... I believe that there are things that need to be said between myself and some people that just aren't being said. It's kinda like an unspoken resentment. Something that I'm finding out about myself is that I have a way of rubbing people the wrong way without even realizing it. When I was younger I figured that it was because I just spoke and let whatever fly out of my mouth. I also was not the best people person. I was opinionated, overbearing, and close-minded. But I'm grown now. I have worked soooo hard to do better, and to be better. I have gotten to the point where I have grown to be more open-minded and to evaluate my thoughts before they become my words. So why isn't this working? Why? There is a group of people that I haven't been able to get through to. A community if you will of people that for some reason have counted me out. I can honestly say I've tried with my words and actions to build relationships and form a closer bond. For months I've tried and have gotten nothing. Well nothing more than politeness, which normally I might be okay with. My brother asked me the other day how I would respond if someone flat out told me they didn't like me. He asked if I could deal with not being liked for no other reason than someone just chooses not to like me. I know the point he was getting at. I am very much a feeler like I have said in previous posts. As a feeler I need those words. I need those explanations. I need someone to say what they feel. The question is why? Why do I need an explanation? In reality it shouldn't matter. I am a wonderful, strong, intelligent black woman. Not everyone is going to like me and that's ok. I have to like me though. I have to be comfortable being in situations where I'm loved by the masses and I must be comfortable being in situations where I am dispised. It comes from within and no amount of words from them or me is going to make it better. This is something that I slowly but surely must address but the first step is acknowledgement. So today I will acknowledge that not being apart of that particular community hurts. It hurts to know that no matter how hard I try some people will just choose not to like me. I am made content however by the reality that their choice is not an indictment on me. I am still a strong, wonderful, beautiful, feeling, loving, talking, growing, learning, intelligent black woman. That's me. That's ok. That's enough. Yeah... That's what needed to be said.

Until the next song plays...

Sunday, December 14, 2008

How To Save a Life

"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life..." - The Frey "How To Save A Life"

Losing a friend is a tough task. Sometimes it happens without you even knowing it. As a new year approaches and I look at who is in my life and why I begin to really examine my relationships. See I've always been the type of person that was bad in romantic relationships because I allowed whoever I was with to treat me in a way that I did not deserve to be treated. I'm growing, and learning and now I know better. But now I'm starting to notice this same trend in my friendships as well. I mean friendships all have their roles just as people do but I am realizing that I need to have the same standards in friends that I have in lovers. See I see that when I care for someone whether it be a friend or companion I have the tendency to do too much, be there too much, offer too much of myself while they have the tendency to take and never give back. I can't fault them for this because I believe human instinct is self preservation but since it has hurt me I must be the one to stop the cycle. I have come to learn that I cannot get mad at someone for doing something to me that I allow to be done.

There are times in life when you look at your life and the people in your life and you realize these people are great but maybe some just aren't great for me. Not at this time and not anymore. The saying goes, "For everything there is a season..." and I've seen alot of seasons end this year. I've mentioned before that I greive when I come to an end of a season but this time I truly believe that this will be for the better. You have to prune the rosebush in order for it to excel. This december I'm finishing up my pruning and I recognize that this is my preparation to thrive. So instead of the usual bickering, resent, hurt feelings, and bruised egos that go along with the end of a season of friendship; I offer my love, respect, and best wishes along with saying it was wonderful while it lasted...

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Monday, December 8, 2008

I Apologize

" I apologize, believe me I do. I apologize, honest and true." - Anita Baker "I Apologize"

I apologize. Why are those two little words so hard to say? I mean we are all willing to admit that humans are imperfect creatures and we're definitely ok with pointing out when someone else is wrong; why then is it so hard to not only admit wrong doing but also attempt to make up for it. The dictionary defines apology as the admission of fault. For some reason in my 23 years on the earth this admission of fault is the one thing that has been hardest for the most people around me. I admit I in the past have had trouble with admitting I was wrong as well but I have also recognized that this was a flaw of mine.

Based on not-so-recent events that have happened in my life I have been pondering the idea of apologizing and the reasons for the apprehension. I was in this situation. A situation in which I did all that I thought was humanly possible for another person. This was not just a fly by night situation. It was a friendship, an 11-year old, tried and true friendship. I was doing things that I thought would be reciprocated if there was ever a need. But right in front of my eyes this so-called tried and true friendship ended when I made it clear to this friend that I could no longer support someone that was making choices not to attempt to support their self. In my mind a friendship, well a sho nuff friendship should never get to this point but it did. Fine. I was hurt that someone that I would have given my all to and did just took it and went on their merry way without even the least inkling to think about my well being but I could actually deal with that. The part that was just the coup d'etat was the fact that after all of that all I ever wanted from them was a simple apology; what I got was their whining about what I did to them.

So I ponder... Why would this person rather victimize themselves instead of offering a simple apology? Have we as a human race become so afraid of being wrong that we are willing to make ourselves victims to every situation just to avoid offering an apology? Do we see our mistakes as our imperfactions being made manifest? If so then why?

I'm in a leadership program that is all about personal and professional development. In this program we have trainings around Sexism, Homophobia, Racism, Community Development, etc. In this program we have also been trained in competitive versus collaborative behavior. We learned about the power of words and the idea that when we are intenional in the words that we say to one another that is the biggest step to better relationships. I completely agree with this school of thought. I think that we as human beings ought to make apologies not somthing that we attempt to avoid at all costs but as a reminder of how no matter how we may mess up we have a reprive.

So after a little bit of soul-searching I have decided to make this my public apology. I am willing to put myself out there and apologize for all of the things I've done to offend anyone this year. Anything that I may have done or that you think I may have done. From the small annoyances to the large transgressions that may have hurt you in the least bit. For the things I meant to do and the things that I didn't even realize I did. For the feelings I've hurt, the egos I've bruised, the smart comments I've made, the sarcasm I've spewed, the personal attacks I've forged, I'm aplogizing for it ALL! I am making it right today. In my ongoing mission to be the person I say that I am I needed to do this. I needed to do this as a way of letting go of 2008 and being ready to accept all of the things waiting for me in 2009. Today. I apologize. And it wasn't so bad.

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Sunday, December 7, 2008

So Sick

"Said I'm so sick of love songs, so sad and slow, so why can't I turn off the radio?" - Ne-yo "So Sick"

I admit I'm a hopeless romantic. I have been all my life. It's a part of who I am. I've got it so bad that I've been planning my wedding for years, shit decades. And at this point in my life I'm realizing that this may not be very healthy for me. I am a single woman. I've been single for about 5 months and although I am very aware of why I choose to be single at this point in my life, the hard part is not constantly thinking about when my solitude will end.

This time alone was necessary. Since I was seventeen I had been in a relationship almost constantly with no break of more than a few weeks to a month. I allowed myself to continue on in relationships that were not good for me and to be with people that didn't deserve me. Before this self-induced solitude I was at the point where the thought of being by myself was a little frightening. I know what you're thinking, "Wow how ridiculous!" right? You're thinking, "What could lead a young intelligent black woman like you to have that mindset?"

I could say it was alot of things: my absent father, my constant reminder from the women in my life about how a man "completes" a family, I could even say it's sex; but in all reality I'm begining to believe the true culprit is... LOVE SONGS.

I turn my radio on each morning and I listen. I listen to the disc-jockeys talk and laugh, I listen to the news, sports, traffic, and weather, then it comes. Its like I hear the first note and it hits me like a ton of bricks; whether it's Robin Thicke telling me about his "Sweetest Love", or Usher describing what it feels like when you "Got It Bad". It doesn't matter if it's Fantasia's "When I See U" or Mariah Carey's "We Belong Together" they all get me. They all make me feel like the odd man out. When I hear the music and analyze the lyrics as I always do I am left asking, "Why not me?, Why not now?" I so much want to be in a loving committed relationship with Eric Benet's lyrics but the problem is these lyrics are not real. These lyrics are idealized accounts of what someone's imagination believes love to be. I mean we've all had a good relationship before and can any of us really say that it was all good all the time? Of course not. Love is not a feeling. Love is an action that must be expressed everyday. Love is growing together, learning together, believing together, becoming better people together. Love is learning from your mistakes, granting amnesty as necessary, and seeing this imperfect person through the eyes of your heart. These qualities are the ones I'm searching for. Although the perfection is very pleasing to my ear and my heart, and it would be wonderful to bring my guy "sunshine on a cloudy day" I'd be ok with being his best friend. Because with a best friend I could understand us getting on each other's nerves sometimes, and having fights that don't mean break-ups. Being best friends, lovers, soulmates, partners, whatever you want to call it is about wanting what's best for that other person. It's not just about how that person may make you feel but about how you both choose to invest in each other's lives to make a better "Us".

Now that I realize these things about love songs, now that I can be single without losing my sanity, now that I can recognize what I want and deserve, and now that I am taking those steps to making myself a better person so that when I am presented with a prospective "best friend/partner" I can be the best me I can be; I can't promise that I'll stop listening to my favorite artists but what I will say is that the next time Al Green starts begging me to stay together, I'll try not to get so sappy and remind myself of this personal reflection.
Why can't I turn off the radio?

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Sunday, November 30, 2008

In My Life

"There are places I'll remember all my life though some have changed; some forever not for better some have gone and some remain. All these places have their moments, with lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living, in my life I've loved them all..." - The Beatles "In My Life"

My 5 year high school reunion was yesterday. 5 years. I can't even believe it. In preparation for this event I began reminiscing about the good ole days we spent at Walnut. The days that, for better or for worse, helped shape me into the person I am today.

The night of the event, as I began to get myself together I remember how self concious I was and how much I wanted to look as nice as I possibly could for whatever reason. As I put on my clothes and did my hair I looked at myself in the mirror and I wondered how the people that I shared class, dances and memories with would view me that night. I wondered if they would notice the extra pounds I've put on, or the curly fro that I am now sporting; or maybe they would look at me and remember.

The class of 2003 will always hold a special place in my heart. Now in no way do I want to make it seem like my highschool experience was a fairytale or that our class resembled the 90's highschool sitcoms; but we had fun. As you might expect there were the cliques, the scandals, the in-crowds, the jealousy, the moments of unification as a class, and the moments of complete anarchy; but we had fun.

Even though I can understand that everyone's experience was not the same, I can say that I appreciated my time in those halls. For that reason when I walked in and saw those faces all I could see were memories. I saw the smiling face that used to make my day better everytime I walked into history class. I talked with the friends I used to blow off first bell with, and shared stories with the people I used to share lunch with. Of course I remember the bad times but I couldn't bring myself to dwell on that. Yes, there are faces I saw that brought back some not-so-great memories, and there were even some faces that I wished were there but knew it was probably better that they weren't. But the good feelings and memories wouldn't let my heart dwell on the bad. From the looks of things; I wasn't the only one. As each person walked in they were received into the group and as I looked around we were together like no time had passed. The hugs, the smiles, the familiarity. At this event I realized that for better or worse these are the people that I will always share this bond with and I value them.

5 years have passed and we are different people now. There are things that have changed but the love is still there. We don't keep in touch like we should, or could; we cling to the people that we feel closest to, we stick to politeness for the people that have rubbed us the wrong way. But through it all most people showed up which proves to me that the circle is unbroken.

Class of 2003, thank you for the years we shared and the times we had. Thank you for helping shape me, and for giving me a wonderful experience to look back on... Thanks most of all for the memories... I look forward to the new ones we'll create even if they'll only happen every 5 years...

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Thursday, November 27, 2008


"Thankful for relaxation, complication, hibernation and irritation...Succlusion, confusion, all my impurities and insecurities...Cause I know it`s God just perfecting me...That`s why I today I take my life as it comes" - India Arie "Gratitude"

What are you thankful for? Every year I sit and make sure I have something good to say because in my family we're pretty traditional. We stand in a circle in my grandma's living room and give thanks to the Almighty One who has kept us thus far. And after the very fervent prayer to bless the food, the house, and the family we are each charged with expressing our own personal gratitude to the Most High.

You're probably thinking, wow that probably takes a long time; yeah it does, but this year I'm taking it serious. See I'm grown now and I sit back and realize that I have sooo much to be thankful for.

This year I have truly been baptized by fire. I've gone through some things that I thought would surely cause my demise; but I'm still here. I have laughed and cried, moaned and groaned, loved and lost; but I'm still here. There were people in my life that wished the worst for me and yet I am still here doing my best to be the best me. I AM STILL HERE! Survival is big for me. I recognize that there are people who have gone through these same situations that may not have survived and I am grateful that LOVE wouldn't let me disappear.

As I look back over the years and I look to my upcoming birthday, I also am grateful for the fact that tho I may never reach perfection; I am a better woman today than I was even 5 months ago. See I'm thankful that I'm learning from my mistakes and growing from my adversities. This means not only am I surviving, I am thriving. This means that each year, each month, week, day, hour, minute, second, each moment in time... I am becoming a better me. A me that will be equipped to triumph because I've known what it is to fail. A me that knows if I fall I can, I will, I must get back up again.

So I'm grateful today. I'm grateful to the GOD that is the love that wouldn't let me fall. I'm grateful to this love that is revealed to me through the sunlight and rain, the flowers and the trees, the smiles on my loved ones faces, and the goodnight kisses I get from my baby boy. I'm grateful that this love has choosen me for a purpose and is equipping me for the road ahead.

I believe in this love, and I am so thankful for it today... The book is right; Love never fails... and for that; This is my gratitude...

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


"I'm your girl, you're my girl, we're your girls; don't you know that we love you?" - Destiny's Child "Girl"

As I sit here and reminisce on this Thanksgiving Eve I am clear of one of the things that I am most thankful for: My friends or "Girls"... The close knit group of young women that I consider my friends. Friend; I don't take that word lightly in the least bit. When I call someone my friend that is my way of inviting them into my village. The loving, caring, intimate village that I am creating as a safe haven for not only myself but my child as well. My friends are the people that I feel that I can be completely transparent, honest, open, and authentic with; ones that I can share my world and my views and my love.

2008 has been a rough year for friendship in my village. There were a few friends that for whatever reason are no longer apart of this village. When I think about them I grieve. I grieve for the memories, the laughter, the ups and the downs. I grieve because according to Meyers-Briggs I'm a "feeler" and that's how we process our information. Most of all I grieve because these people are not bad people and the times that we shared were good times. I think about the decisions and behaviors that led us to this moment in time; and I wonder what could or would have made it better if anything? I wonder how these people feel about me now; and I wonder if they are able to remember the good times or if hurt and resent has wiped those memories away?
I hope not. I hope that even though there is no longer a shared bond between us, there is still the remembrance of those belly laughs, and late night phone conversations that we shared. That is the thing that will help us both become better friends in the future.

As for the women (and men) currently in my village: As I said before I am truly thankful for each and everyone of them. This year more than ever these individuals have been not only a source of inspiration, but also a source of moral, emotional, and mental support. This year has been hard. I have been through alot and I have had people in my corner, that I can say with the utmost conviction, truly loved me and wanted the best for me. As I have grown as a person we have also grown as friends and each time we're together whether it be at work everyday or once in a while during the holidays it's like no time has passed. I trust them with my life and even more important I trust them with my love...

In friendship I always want those close to me to know how important they are to me. I want them to understand just how much I depend on their love. So on this Thanksgiving Eve this is dedicated to my "girls"; you wonderful women that know how to make me smile when I'm crying and laugh when no one else is laughing. To you who are the "wind beneath my wings", and "my strength when I'm weak"; I love and appreciate you. And always remember... I'm your girl!

Until the next song plays...
- Jazz

Monday, November 24, 2008

No More Rain

"Not afraid because the seasons have changed I'm gonna count my blessings and just follow the sun..." - Angie Stone "No More Rain"

Thanksgiving season has so many meanings and memories attached to it for me... Its a time for family and reflection, it is also a time when 2 years ago (to loosely quote Beyonce) he liked it so he put a ring on it... LOL I can remember how excited and actually validated I felt simply because my alcoholic boyfriend offered me the title of bride to be... As I refelct on the person I was then I see how very twisted my thought processes were. In no way am I saying being excited about engagement is twisted but for me it was... He was a guy that often verbally abused me and then emotionally was not a whole person himself... We were a trainwreck that rarely had a moments of bliss but most of those were merely moments of ecstacy... But he did it and then that was all I needed... I needed to feel that validation... needed to know somebody, anybody could think in their mind that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me...

After the engagement was called off, after the relationship ended began again and yes ended again. I was scared; scared to really be alone and let go of the security I had come to depend upon.. But in this security I realized I had only found bondage. I was a slave to the insecurities
that forced me to need someone or something that wasnt me... I didn't need that... I was forced to come face to face with who I really was and why being alone was so scary... Why I was counting on someone to keep me from being, knowing, loving, understanding and accepting the real me...

Well I'm not afraid anymore! I have used that fear as motivation and here I am 2 years later... 2 years wholer... 2 years removed from being a slave to the status quo...

No it hasn't been easy and there are times when I contemplate going back... There are those times when I wish I would have let him "put a ring on it"... But I won't let me return to the me I used to be... And that's love... Loving me for me...

So today thinking and reflecting led me to Angie... Yeah I'm counting my blessings and following the sun!

Until the next song plays...