Friday, October 28, 2011


"I'm taking my own freedom
Putting it in my song,
Singing loud and strong,
Grooving all day long,
I'm taking my freedom,
Putting it in my stroll,
I'll be high-steppin' y'all,
Letting the joy unfold"

-Jill Scott

Today is a great day... I woke up and had a smile on my face, spring in my step and a general joy about me... Yesterday was a bit stressful, but as I was debriefing it with one of my besties, I realized that it was "put my foot down" day. I had to create some standards at work, in my personal life, and just in general. Although this can be sometimes frustrating and tiring it's always for the best. I was able to cut some things off at the root and as I like to say "tell some people about themselves". For some reason that always puts me in a good mood.

I say all of this to say, I can totally understand Jill when she is so melodiously singing about taking, "her own freedom..." Freedom is something that must be taken, fought for, both figuratively and literally. You have to decide what is and is not ok in your OWN life... Draw your line in the sand today and bask in the joy of the freedom that it brings.

Happy Friday :)

Until the next song plays...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Come Live With Me

"Come live with me
And won't you be my love
Share my bread and wine
Be wife to me
Be life to me
Be mine
Oh, come live with me
And be my love
Let our dreams combine
Be great to me
Be fate to me
Be mine"

-Ray Charles

Mood: Pensive
So I stumbled upon this song while listening to Pandora and the romantic inside of me seemed to gasp for air from it's death bed... I mean you have to admit, without even having to hear the lulling melody the lyrics alone lend to the happily ever after that I have so recently stopped believing in.
The thing that I am in so much thought about though is not the idea of happily ever after, I think I'm making my peace with that. I think I'm wondering why this mindset, especially for the male members of my species, is lost. How is it that not even 100 years ago one of the most famous artists of their time and I would argue ours as well could sing these lyrics with such passion and this be such a popular song? When now, the closest to a love song that comes on the radio is a song where the singer boasts, "I'm gonna get you soaking wet, can I make you wet the bed..." We've already been introduced to the fact that I love love songs... I do I love a great love song about LOVE... And my generation seems to not only have lost the art of love songs but the art of love as well... The status quo is to be "kickin it" or to have an "open relationship" which simply means "I can have sex with other people but I will choose also to have sex with you AND you get to have some of my leisure time until I decide otherwise". There's a growing number of people having kids with people that they wouldn't even consider having relationships with and the idea of marriage is pretty much as out of date as the flip phone. There's even an option of "it's complicated" as a relationship status on facebook, I mean wtf?
No wonder the poor romantic inside is knocking on death's door... Commitment has been lost, serious relationships have become unheard of and people just... well they just don't seem to know how or what to do to really, truly love again.
Why don't guys want a love anymore? Why is it that the idea of being with one woman is such a turn off? And I mean I've heard all of the dissenting opinions and read all of the articles about sheer numbers and any other excuses you can find, but I call BS. Where is the part of someone, right now I'm concentrating on the males, but the part of you that wants that ONE special someone that you can come home to and tell about your day and feel secure and loved and supported and wanted and valued and loved? Why would you prefer all of this sneaking and serial dating and constantly having to be and do for all of these different people and keep up this game never really being honest, never truly allowing yourself to be just you for fear that you might "catch feelings"? What the hell is going on in the world?
And ladies why allow a man to devalue you by making you feel like you're crazy for wanting honesty and companionship and commitment? Maybe not everyone does want commitment but a lot of people do. And I for one am publicly proclaiming that YOU ARE NORMAL. There is nothing wrong with you... You are not missing some crazy stage of enlightenment, and you are neither unreasonable nor needy for creating a standard and sticking to it. If you know deep down in your heart that you want the ONE don't let someone make you their number 2.
SO now that my rant is over... I will place this beautiful song on repeat and let the sun shine in on me while I dream of that wonderful man that will one day play this song for me and mean every word of it, the man that wants and values honesty and commitment as much as I do, the man that will be my life partner.
I think the romantic inside just got a very positive prognosis, from here on out she's here to stay... Thanks Ray Charles

Until the next song plays...

Thursday, October 20, 2011


"Ain't no feeling like being free
When your mind's made up
And your hearts in the right place, yeah"
-Destiny's Child

Hello again to all my friends :) It has been almost a month since my last post and sooooo many things have happened. As you may be able to tell, I am no longer in my dark and twisty sad place and I am so grateful to God. Not only have I found my joy, I am free of anger, bitterness and resent. The soundtrack has me in a very good place right now... I am in place of freedom. Freedom from guilt, embarrassment, insecurity, anger, and bondage in general.

I have had my time to think and process all that went down and I'm of the mindset that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that every challenge we go through in our lives is meant to prepare us for the next step or phase and before we can "cross over" we have to complete the level... Well I'm happy to say that I have mastered this challenge beautifully if I do say so myself. I was even able to have a conversation with my former best friend and have some closure and for that I am grateful.

Since then I have been able to put the past behind me and begin this love stuff all over again... Not with a new relationship or a replacement of the previous one, but with a new found appreciation for all that is me... I feel beautiful and valuable and confident and whole. I feel like the world is my oyster. I am glad to be who I am and where I am at this moment in time and I appreciate all the experiences that have brought me to this moment.

So here I am world! I am free, and my heart is in the right place :)

Until the next song plays...