Thursday, September 22, 2011


"I don't want another pretender
To disillusion me one more time
Whispering words of forever
Playing with my mind

I need someone to hold on to
The kind of love that won't fly away
I just want someone to belong to
Of my life
So come and take me away..."
-Mariah Carey

I was listening to the radio today, and was feeling sorry for myself like I always do in these situations. This song popped up and peaked my interest. It was the first song that I listened to today that made me come out of my self-pity state and actually bob my head and sing along. It's ironic because this used to be my FAVORITE song as a little girl. I used to sit and watch tv waiting for the video to come on, and even at that young age I could understand the words and I knew than that I wanted this dream lover to come and rescue me too. I wanted to be taken away, to be loved, to be sought after... I guess this is the reason I just can't seem to leave love alone... It's been ingrained in me since youth.

Listening to this song today gave me a new perspective on this whole situation. This jerk of and asshole that pretended to be my friend, does NOT get to break me. None of the men in my life that did not know how, or care to, or know how to love me do not get the power of tainting the very thing that I have wanted and desired for my entire life. Love is bigger than them and their insecurities, and failures, and lies, and malicious deeds. Love does not begin or end with them. Not for my life at least. I now more than ever believe, I believe in a dream lover. I believe that he is out there and he is probably just as frustrated with the way that love or pseudo-love has been going in his life at this point. I think that he dreams of meeting a woman that really believes in love, marriage, commitment, trust, and forever. He dreams of finding a woman that still wants to be swept off her feet and that is also fluent in all of the love languages. He too, is tired of pretenders, and those that want to play games. And I bet just like me, he is praying that she doesn't give up on love because that would mean he would never get to reap the love that he's sown.

So I'm here my dream lover.... Ready to begin again, equipped to love completely again, motivated to try it all again because I know you've been wanting this as much as I have and I know that you know me and understand how I feel inside. So come and take me away, up, down, anywhere you want to... Come take me away...

until the next song plays...


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