"I really wish we were made to be
happy without love in our life.
To know that I have total control
Over being happy, happy
But reality is I cannot live without love
But I will try tonight"
-Tamia
Ok my loves... This time last year I was so proud of myself. Valentine's Day came and went and I the seemingly last single girl survived without incident. Reading over that blog empowered me throughout the rest of that year and I thought man I really am getting the hang of this being alone thing. Um... fast forward a year later and I am almost too embarrassed to share what Valentine's Day looked like for that same girl. You would think it would be even better and easier to deal with but alas the answer is no!
Valentine's Day this year was a mess! To say the least. Like I said I am ashamed at the outcome of my Valentine's Day 2010 but I am still going to share it because this blog is about growth and love and life and learning. I want it to be real and truly reflective of my life journey and true to life stuff doesn't always work out the way you want it to...
So February 14, 2010 started off in a wonderful way. I got up rested and ready to journey to the house of the Lord. I had gone to dinner and shopping the previous day and the items that I purchased helped to make me feel beautiful which is something that always helps. Church was nice and the sermon was something I needed to hear about God hearing us and being able to use His power to help. Of course I needed that, so anyway I was content to spend my Valentine's Day with my immediate family and our close friends at dinner. It was one of our favorite restaurants and it doubled as a birthday celebration. Sounds all good right? Wrong! As dinner winded to an end talk of "what's next" started and of the three couples that attended the dinner (I was the only non coupled grown person. The other two diners were my son and my 11 year old sister.) two of the couples my parents included decided to make plans. Unbeknown to me I was designated as the night's babysitter because I, as it was so loudly and rudely announced over the entire table by my step-dad, "had no other plans for the night..."
OUCH!
There it was my friends... the salt in the wound that I had tried to bandage. Now of course I'm sure this announcement and designation as the night's babysitter was not a malicious act but wow did it hurt. I mean I was there already uncomfortable in my own skin because it was Valentine's Day and I was alone. Not only was I alone, I was with six other people that were coupled and two people that were not coupled due to age. And as much I had in my mind that I was ok because I was with my family and they loved me I still ended up alone that night. Maybe I should say that I ended up lonely that night. Lonely. Loneliness and I have definitely been getting to know each other a lot lately. It seems that since Love and I broke up, Loneliness had come and taken love's place. I never thought that I could really be this person that I've become. Of course I've had my ups and downs with love. Feelings of being betrayed by love and thinking that I just need to be done seem to have been a theme in my life as of late but I'm at the point now where I don't think that I even broke up with love. I think love broke up with me.
Sure everyone I've talked to about these feelings has given me this textbook "don't feel bad about yourself" advice which basically consists of either telling me that "it, as in love, will come eventually..." whenever the hell eventually is or I am instructed to "just try not to focus on it too much... it comes when you stop thinking about it..." I call BS on both of these poor excuses for encouragement or advice or whatever it is supposed to be. On top of the fact that I don't wanna hear this crap, I also want to know what exactly these tidbits are supposed to mean and make me feel? Yes I know being in a relationship is not the most pressing issue in the world. I get that. However, it is something that I desire and I don't apologize for wanting to be in love. Especially when it seems like everyone around me is falling ass-backwards into relationships without even a thought.
This issue of loneliness is a bit new for me. I mean sure I've been lonely before but not to this extent and not for this amount of time. Usually I can find something or someone to keep me out of the depths of loneliness but not this time. And it wouldn't bother me so much if I hadn't just reached the ephipany that, "I deserve the things that I want in life". For a long time I think I put up with feelings of loneliness because I felt like maybe for some reason I didn't deserve to be in a relationship for whatever reason... but lately, since I've realized how much I do deserve this and am worthy of it, I've just gotten pissed off at loneliness for this abusive relationship we've been in.
So then what the hell is the answer? What's next in this thing we call life? Realizing that I want and deserve love, yet being on the outs with it and feeling like love is engaged to an entity called "everyone else"... The truth is I DON'T KNOW... I don't know what comes next for me and that is the scary part. I don't know how long I will even try or can even continue to try. Even I get tired of dealing with love's BS games. So for the moment I'm stuck in this crap of a relationship with loneliness... We'll see if it can commit...
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
So Much Things To Say
"Remember that
See when this rain falls, it don't, fall on one man's house top
They've got so much things to say right now
They've got so much, so much things to say
They've got, heh, so much things to say right now"
-Bob Marley
Yes my friends it has been a minute since I've come and shared with you all... Saying I've missed you would truly be an understatement! But to say I've been busy would be one too. Life has thrown some curve balls lately and I find myself needing to come here and open my heart and soul and pour out all those things I haven't been able to say. I've experienced the coming of a New Year and the dawning of a new decade. I've had a birthday and entered the year of 25 which I am very excited about!
So the soundtrack has brought me to a place of having "So much things to say right now..." In this past couple of months I have truly been on a growth spurt. As we all know I have been on this quest to love. Love not only myself in a more effective way but to love those around me in a more healthy way. This journey I know is a life-long one and one that has and will continue to require asking the hard questions to myself, and others as well as being transparent when all you wanna do is hide. Lately I have had to do some of that and it hasn't been pretty. See at this point I'm really trying to put all of the lessons I've been learning into action and begin to be that person. The person that learns from the past and doesn't foolishly repeat it.
So the most recent thing I've had to deal with is my almost fear of taking up for myself when it comes to certain people in my life. I'm in no way a timid person but there are few people that have this way of making me clam up when I know I should speak or cause me to compromise when I shouldn't. So lately the Jazz on the inside has been speaking up for herself, having those courageous conversations and not allowing anyone to steal her space. And I freakin love it!
I have also come to the realization that I deserve all that I want and desire! For too long I have justified the fear and anxiety that has caused me to either not go for the things that I want or has caused me to fool myself into thinking that I don't really want it. I've even gotten to the point of doubting myself and actually believing that others deserved the things that I wanted more than me because they were smarter, or prettier, or whatever. These lies I have been telling myself are so destructive to the me I am growing to be and you know what? They stop today!
I am the best Jazz that I can be right now and if there are things that I want I need to go after them with everything I have inside of me. I have to realize that I have the ability to accomplish any task that I set my mind to with ease and comfort. I also have to choose to see the best that is already inside of me because of who I am as a creation of the Master of the Universe. Does this mean that I have it all together? Of course not. Does this mean that growth stops? Absolutely not! This is where growth continues and becomes effective. We must learn to accept ourselves and that means not allowing ourselves to doubt that we are any less than what we are, and what we are, what I am at this very moment is beautiful. Is the caterpillar any less beautiful than the butterfly?
Ok friends well with all these new revelations life is certainly going to be more exciting :)
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
See when this rain falls, it don't, fall on one man's house top
They've got so much things to say right now
They've got so much, so much things to say
They've got, heh, so much things to say right now"
-Bob Marley
Yes my friends it has been a minute since I've come and shared with you all... Saying I've missed you would truly be an understatement! But to say I've been busy would be one too. Life has thrown some curve balls lately and I find myself needing to come here and open my heart and soul and pour out all those things I haven't been able to say. I've experienced the coming of a New Year and the dawning of a new decade. I've had a birthday and entered the year of 25 which I am very excited about!
So the soundtrack has brought me to a place of having "So much things to say right now..." In this past couple of months I have truly been on a growth spurt. As we all know I have been on this quest to love. Love not only myself in a more effective way but to love those around me in a more healthy way. This journey I know is a life-long one and one that has and will continue to require asking the hard questions to myself, and others as well as being transparent when all you wanna do is hide. Lately I have had to do some of that and it hasn't been pretty. See at this point I'm really trying to put all of the lessons I've been learning into action and begin to be that person. The person that learns from the past and doesn't foolishly repeat it.
So the most recent thing I've had to deal with is my almost fear of taking up for myself when it comes to certain people in my life. I'm in no way a timid person but there are few people that have this way of making me clam up when I know I should speak or cause me to compromise when I shouldn't. So lately the Jazz on the inside has been speaking up for herself, having those courageous conversations and not allowing anyone to steal her space. And I freakin love it!
I have also come to the realization that I deserve all that I want and desire! For too long I have justified the fear and anxiety that has caused me to either not go for the things that I want or has caused me to fool myself into thinking that I don't really want it. I've even gotten to the point of doubting myself and actually believing that others deserved the things that I wanted more than me because they were smarter, or prettier, or whatever. These lies I have been telling myself are so destructive to the me I am growing to be and you know what? They stop today!
I am the best Jazz that I can be right now and if there are things that I want I need to go after them with everything I have inside of me. I have to realize that I have the ability to accomplish any task that I set my mind to with ease and comfort. I also have to choose to see the best that is already inside of me because of who I am as a creation of the Master of the Universe. Does this mean that I have it all together? Of course not. Does this mean that growth stops? Absolutely not! This is where growth continues and becomes effective. We must learn to accept ourselves and that means not allowing ourselves to doubt that we are any less than what we are, and what we are, what I am at this very moment is beautiful. Is the caterpillar any less beautiful than the butterfly?
Ok friends well with all these new revelations life is certainly going to be more exciting :)
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I Remember
"There was nowhere else to go
Nobody else to turn to
For the rest of my life
I promise myself
I will love me first genuinely..."
Friendship has been a little hard to handle lately. I am very much the type of person that, once I feel close to person, a friend, I am inclined to feel that way until otherwise I decide not to. Weird as it may be, I very quickly become attached to my friends. So lately I have been realizing that this is not so true for the rest of the world. I mean yeah there are so many people around me that I love and support and hang out with etc. Yet on those days when I am sad, lonely, frustrated, excited, whatever there hasn't been anyone around for me to share that with. I miss my close circle that I use to have back in the high school and college days. You know that one group of girls that did everything together, then on top of that knew everything about each other. Man I enjoy the security of knowing when something goes down all I have to do is pick up the phone...
I guess things change as we age an mature. Instead of my girls being maybe a floor or classroom away, now my real close friends are states away. Yeah I can pick up the phone and give her a ring but it's just not the same. And don't get me wrong the people that are close to me vicinity wise are not bad people it's just the history, the investment, the time is not there... yet.
In these times of loneliness, in missing my girls, and trying to figure out how to create new circles, I realize that I need to get it together. What I mean is that, I have to be content in my solitude sometimes. It's hard of course and yes the extrovert in me is slowly being forced to calm down but, I think I'm growing and realizing that I don't have to be sad and lonely. I can use this time to understand myself better and what it is I really want out of friendship. I am convinced that there must be a reason for all of this going on in my life at this moment... I just hope it doesn't last much longer...
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
Nobody else to turn to
For the rest of my life
I promise myself
I will love me first genuinely..."
Friendship has been a little hard to handle lately. I am very much the type of person that, once I feel close to person, a friend, I am inclined to feel that way until otherwise I decide not to. Weird as it may be, I very quickly become attached to my friends. So lately I have been realizing that this is not so true for the rest of the world. I mean yeah there are so many people around me that I love and support and hang out with etc. Yet on those days when I am sad, lonely, frustrated, excited, whatever there hasn't been anyone around for me to share that with. I miss my close circle that I use to have back in the high school and college days. You know that one group of girls that did everything together, then on top of that knew everything about each other. Man I enjoy the security of knowing when something goes down all I have to do is pick up the phone...
I guess things change as we age an mature. Instead of my girls being maybe a floor or classroom away, now my real close friends are states away. Yeah I can pick up the phone and give her a ring but it's just not the same. And don't get me wrong the people that are close to me vicinity wise are not bad people it's just the history, the investment, the time is not there... yet.
In these times of loneliness, in missing my girls, and trying to figure out how to create new circles, I realize that I need to get it together. What I mean is that, I have to be content in my solitude sometimes. It's hard of course and yes the extrovert in me is slowly being forced to calm down but, I think I'm growing and realizing that I don't have to be sad and lonely. I can use this time to understand myself better and what it is I really want out of friendship. I am convinced that there must be a reason for all of this going on in my life at this moment... I just hope it doesn't last much longer...
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Purify Me
"It's like you're baptizing me with your love...
...Like a glimmer of life
Like a vision of light
And he's so perfect I couldn't picture him if I tried"
-India Arie
Today is such a special day. Today is the anniversary of my mommyhood. This day 4 years ago I was baptized. Baptized by the love only a mother could feel for their child. Baptized into the greatest responsibility of my life. Baptized into a new and totally different life...love...me. See before I had my son, I was at a bad point in my life. I was kind of aimlessly living and being thrown to and from by circumstance. Sure I had goals and dreams and visions of what I wanted but I didn't either know how or care enough to do what it took to accomplish them. I was also in a bit of an unhealthy relationship to say the least. Basically life was living me, not the other way around. Once I found out I was pregnant, all that changed... quickly. I had to get my shit together. I could no longer play with life, I was now going to be in charge of someone else and all of my decisions were gonna affect them DIRECTLY. Sure this may sound like the beginning (or ending) of a couple lifetime movies but I'm telling you for a lot of mothers... this feeling of urgency regarding responsibility is all too real.
Once he was born, and I was no longer under the influence of the general anesthesia, I held him and I just could not believe the reality. I was looking into the eyes of a person that I created. Honestly giving birth and the aftermath is a truly spritual experience. His presence was my very own confirmation that not only does a greater being exist, but they are truly merciful, wonderful, and most of all faithful.
And 4 years later... I feel the exact same way. Sure I haven't made all the right decisions, nor have I perfected motherhood. But we're here, and we're taken care of. I say this not in boast but as a testimony of what I know to be real.
My baptism 4 years ago changed my life. It changed the very essence of my life, and I haven't been the same since. Everyday now, I strive to be a better me so that I can be a better mother for him. Now that he's at the point of having his own personality I can just feel LOVE in each word, action, goodnight kiss he gives. I was purified by HIS love... Thank you GOD!
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
...Like a glimmer of life
Like a vision of light
And he's so perfect I couldn't picture him if I tried"
-India Arie
Today is such a special day. Today is the anniversary of my mommyhood. This day 4 years ago I was baptized. Baptized by the love only a mother could feel for their child. Baptized into the greatest responsibility of my life. Baptized into a new and totally different life...love...me. See before I had my son, I was at a bad point in my life. I was kind of aimlessly living and being thrown to and from by circumstance. Sure I had goals and dreams and visions of what I wanted but I didn't either know how or care enough to do what it took to accomplish them. I was also in a bit of an unhealthy relationship to say the least. Basically life was living me, not the other way around. Once I found out I was pregnant, all that changed... quickly. I had to get my shit together. I could no longer play with life, I was now going to be in charge of someone else and all of my decisions were gonna affect them DIRECTLY. Sure this may sound like the beginning (or ending) of a couple lifetime movies but I'm telling you for a lot of mothers... this feeling of urgency regarding responsibility is all too real.
Once he was born, and I was no longer under the influence of the general anesthesia, I held him and I just could not believe the reality. I was looking into the eyes of a person that I created. Honestly giving birth and the aftermath is a truly spritual experience. His presence was my very own confirmation that not only does a greater being exist, but they are truly merciful, wonderful, and most of all faithful.
And 4 years later... I feel the exact same way. Sure I haven't made all the right decisions, nor have I perfected motherhood. But we're here, and we're taken care of. I say this not in boast but as a testimony of what I know to be real.
My baptism 4 years ago changed my life. It changed the very essence of my life, and I haven't been the same since. Everyday now, I strive to be a better me so that I can be a better mother for him. Now that he's at the point of having his own personality I can just feel LOVE in each word, action, goodnight kiss he gives. I was purified by HIS love... Thank you GOD!
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Weak
"I don't know what it is that you've done to me...
but it's caused me to act in such a crazy way.
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing..."
-SWV
So have you ever been in the situation where you don't know why you feel the way that you feel about someone? I mean you want to feel one way but everything in your mind soul and body feels differently? Ugh if you have never been in this predicament let me tell you, it is not a fun situation. That thin line between love and hate is getting thinner and thinner every moment. There is someone. Someone that I hate. Someone that irks the hell out of me and makes me want to rip their eyelashes off one by one yet... Yet this person has done something to me to make me not able to control this other feeling. This feeling of nervousness whenever they are around or try to engage me in conversation. This feeling that I can't stop smiling when I look at them. This bullshit of a crush that is beginning to develop... again. O yes we have gone through this foolishness before. I have gone down that path and came right back running and screaming so I ask myself... Why the hell would you even dare to contemplate making that same mistake again? I am truly and honestly pissed off at myself and my feelings. Here I am trying to grow and evolve and learn, and my dumb feelings are trying to revert back to their old ways.
I refuse! I like this place of being content in hating this person. I mean I deserve this feeling. I am comfortable in it and I know how to deal with it. Well I admit hate is a strong word but that's why i chose it. I strongly hate the way that this person made me feel. I hate their dumb words and stupid presence. Ok I am being childish and immature but there is this part of me that wants to be done with you when you make me sad. And it has usually worked for me but this person, well they must have discovered the secret. So I'm mad and I feel a bit betrayed by my feelings. I want this to stop and I will every day force myself not to think of them, to stop smiling when I think about them or talk to them, and most of all stop thinking about them period!
Help... the soundtrack is picking songs and I don't even have control of them anymore!
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
but it's caused me to act in such a crazy way.
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing..."
-SWV
So have you ever been in the situation where you don't know why you feel the way that you feel about someone? I mean you want to feel one way but everything in your mind soul and body feels differently? Ugh if you have never been in this predicament let me tell you, it is not a fun situation. That thin line between love and hate is getting thinner and thinner every moment. There is someone. Someone that I hate. Someone that irks the hell out of me and makes me want to rip their eyelashes off one by one yet... Yet this person has done something to me to make me not able to control this other feeling. This feeling of nervousness whenever they are around or try to engage me in conversation. This feeling that I can't stop smiling when I look at them. This bullshit of a crush that is beginning to develop... again. O yes we have gone through this foolishness before. I have gone down that path and came right back running and screaming so I ask myself... Why the hell would you even dare to contemplate making that same mistake again? I am truly and honestly pissed off at myself and my feelings. Here I am trying to grow and evolve and learn, and my dumb feelings are trying to revert back to their old ways.
I refuse! I like this place of being content in hating this person. I mean I deserve this feeling. I am comfortable in it and I know how to deal with it. Well I admit hate is a strong word but that's why i chose it. I strongly hate the way that this person made me feel. I hate their dumb words and stupid presence. Ok I am being childish and immature but there is this part of me that wants to be done with you when you make me sad. And it has usually worked for me but this person, well they must have discovered the secret. So I'm mad and I feel a bit betrayed by my feelings. I want this to stop and I will every day force myself not to think of them, to stop smiling when I think about them or talk to them, and most of all stop thinking about them period!
Help... the soundtrack is picking songs and I don't even have control of them anymore!
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Gotta Find Peace of Mind
"You're my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
You're my peace of mind, you're my peace of mind...
What a joy it is to be alive
To get another chance, yeah
Everyday's another chance
To get it right this time
Everyday's another chance
Oh what a merciful, merciful, merciful God
Oh what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful God"
-Lauryn Hill
Wow... Life just keeps throwing me curve balls. I mean just when I think I have it right, just when I think I have it wrong, just when I think I'm where I should, could, would be... I have of course been on this quest for so many things, love being one of the most elusive... In this quest for love and not just in the romantic form, I have come to such new revelations. I mean I am starting to become so interested in an aspect of love that I have never even took the time to question before. This aspect of love has all of the sudden perplexed me in it's manifestations. The love I'm referring to is friendship. The phileo love if you will. This love that in the past I just thought was shared between homies. Not to be taken lightly of course but still something that comes and is great but certainly could not compete with eros... Interestingly enough I was saddly mistaken.
This past couple of months has been hard on the friendship tip for me to say the least, yet I believe that like any good rose bush the pruning produces the beauty. So anyway I have truly gotten to the point of not even wanting to deal with some of the people in my life that I called "friend" because of the foolishness that they have been participating in. Everything from blatent unmerited accusations, to apathy, to fickleness, to downrght disrespect. I just have such a low threshold for stuff like that so in turn I kindly entered into my turtle shell content to be by my lonesome til I had a reason not to be. Well life said not so! I was quickly bombarded by a resonance of wonderful reminders of what real friendship is and should be. I mean phone calls, belly laughs, general assurances that despite the foolishness that I had endured, there were still those that loved me... that phileo'd me... and that felt so good. I adore my friends, I mean I truly adore these people in my life. And even being able to expand my close circle to include my brothers. Brothers that have my best interests at heart, that aren't ruled by ulterior motives but truely choose to invest in me and my little one. I guess in a word I'm a bit speechless...
In all of this, one thing that I was also able to gain back was my peace of mind. I had been so caight up in withdrawing and getting away, that I forgot to recognize that I have to create a space to maintain my own peace. Peace with myself, peace with those around me, peace in general. I have to remind myself that no one gets the power to rob me of my peace of mind, foolishness or not. This period of my life has been so overwhelming... It seems like each day I grow and find out something more and new and just something else... I just stand in awe.
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
You're my peace of mind, you're my peace of mind...
What a joy it is to be alive
To get another chance, yeah
Everyday's another chance
To get it right this time
Everyday's another chance
Oh what a merciful, merciful, merciful God
Oh what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful God"
-Lauryn Hill
Wow... Life just keeps throwing me curve balls. I mean just when I think I have it right, just when I think I have it wrong, just when I think I'm where I should, could, would be... I have of course been on this quest for so many things, love being one of the most elusive... In this quest for love and not just in the romantic form, I have come to such new revelations. I mean I am starting to become so interested in an aspect of love that I have never even took the time to question before. This aspect of love has all of the sudden perplexed me in it's manifestations. The love I'm referring to is friendship. The phileo love if you will. This love that in the past I just thought was shared between homies. Not to be taken lightly of course but still something that comes and is great but certainly could not compete with eros... Interestingly enough I was saddly mistaken.
This past couple of months has been hard on the friendship tip for me to say the least, yet I believe that like any good rose bush the pruning produces the beauty. So anyway I have truly gotten to the point of not even wanting to deal with some of the people in my life that I called "friend" because of the foolishness that they have been participating in. Everything from blatent unmerited accusations, to apathy, to fickleness, to downrght disrespect. I just have such a low threshold for stuff like that so in turn I kindly entered into my turtle shell content to be by my lonesome til I had a reason not to be. Well life said not so! I was quickly bombarded by a resonance of wonderful reminders of what real friendship is and should be. I mean phone calls, belly laughs, general assurances that despite the foolishness that I had endured, there were still those that loved me... that phileo'd me... and that felt so good. I adore my friends, I mean I truly adore these people in my life. And even being able to expand my close circle to include my brothers. Brothers that have my best interests at heart, that aren't ruled by ulterior motives but truely choose to invest in me and my little one. I guess in a word I'm a bit speechless...
In all of this, one thing that I was also able to gain back was my peace of mind. I had been so caight up in withdrawing and getting away, that I forgot to recognize that I have to create a space to maintain my own peace. Peace with myself, peace with those around me, peace in general. I have to remind myself that no one gets the power to rob me of my peace of mind, foolishness or not. This period of my life has been so overwhelming... It seems like each day I grow and find out something more and new and just something else... I just stand in awe.
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
Friday, July 24, 2009
Water
"Melting down the walls of inhibition
Evaporating all of my fears
Baptizing me into complete submission
Dissolving my condition with his tears"
- Lauryn Hill
Today is a wonderfully beautiful Friday! Despite the crap that has been creeping up, my joy will not suffer collateral damage and I am free today. I am baptized in the water of life and love and freedom. The soundtrack has led me to one of the deepest songs I've ever heard, by one of the the most talented ingenious artists alive; The Divine Ms. L... As I like to call her. Anyway this song is just one of those happy songs in my life. When listening to this song I just feel baptized by the guitar chords and fortified by the lyrics. Just for today, at least, I see my fears evaporating, and feel the inhibition melting away. I am happy today, I am free today, I love me some me today... Enjoy!
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
Evaporating all of my fears
Baptizing me into complete submission
Dissolving my condition with his tears"
- Lauryn Hill
Today is a wonderfully beautiful Friday! Despite the crap that has been creeping up, my joy will not suffer collateral damage and I am free today. I am baptized in the water of life and love and freedom. The soundtrack has led me to one of the deepest songs I've ever heard, by one of the the most talented ingenious artists alive; The Divine Ms. L... As I like to call her. Anyway this song is just one of those happy songs in my life. When listening to this song I just feel baptized by the guitar chords and fortified by the lyrics. Just for today, at least, I see my fears evaporating, and feel the inhibition melting away. I am happy today, I am free today, I love me some me today... Enjoy!
Until the next song plays...
-Jazz
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