Saturday, March 21, 2009

Find Me A Man

"I know what I'm lookin for and I know
He's gotta be wonderful, cause I know
I am too beautiful, to settle for nothin less..."
-Toni Braxton

Single-dom, solitude, loneliness. I'm at the breaking point. I'm irritated that I have taken this time to be alone just to be banished to loneliness. The truth of the matter is, I want to be in a relationship. I want to be on the path to love and marriage. I recognize that men just don't fall out of the sky, but I just don't see myself as the type to go on a manhunt, litterally. At this point in my life I have come to a good place. I am in a place that allows me to be in the mindset to accept love when it comes my way. On the other hand I am not in a place that makes me feel the need to go on a search. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm unrealistic. Or maybe I'm just a girl, that doesn't like the thought of being alone, and wants the fairytale.

What's wrong with wanting my fairytale? Especially when I hear about other people getting theirs day in and day out. What's wrong with wanting to be swept off my feet? What's wrong with wanting to be found instead of always being on the search? What's wrong with me?

I love this Toni Braxton song (yes I know it's on the Secrets cd, but life has taken me there) because she's making a very clear declaration, she wants a man that posesses these qualities. She wants this man to be sensitive and sweet and respectful and wonderful. In that "search" she's also making it clear that she's not willing to compromise her standards in order to find "just any guy". Toni, I hear you. I hear you more than ever. And in my "search" I'm not willing to be the one on the expedition. I want him to "find" me. Hey, "I'm too beautiful to settle for nothin less" too... So I guess the question is, how do you really find someone to find you? I dunno but, I'm searching...

Until the next song plays...

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